Cape Cod Summer Guide

Yea yea yea... "All of Kelsey's posts are in a bikini!" Fuck yea they are. You wish I'm spending $60 on a bikini & not taking a picture in it. The Cape isn't overrated, I promise. The beaches (obviously), the bars, ice cream shacks & restaurants are the reason why people leave their New York or New Hampshire places to spend the summer here. So here's a guide of the best places to visit with your girlfriends over the summer! And let's settle this debate once & for all, the ocean is better than the lake...every.....single.....time.

#1.) The Woodshed

Looks ratch on the outside & it's ratch on the inside! It is the perfect spot on a Thursday because The Slackers play. Again, the band name is ratch but they are the shit. Mr. Hollywood, the saxaphone player is the slickest and coolest old man out there. My cousin worked as the bartender there last summer and the workers are awesome. It's right on 6A in Brewster. There's usually a $5 cover and the drinks are cheap as fuck but make sure to get there early because they start to do one in one out later in the night. Definitely a dive bar but so fun.

#2.) The Irish Pub

This is another ratch place to go to on a Friday night. I always hit up the woodshed on Thursday and the Irish Pub on Friday to see The Slackers 2 nights in a row. This has been my spot since I was 16 (they're too easy with fake ID's). This spot has a huge floor to shake ya ass on. The bathrooms are miniature so I recommend peeing in the parking lot before you go in. The bar is massive but it definitely takes some time to get a drank. Usually a $5 cover and is located in Harwich.

#3.) Chapin's

So there are 2 locations and to be honest, both are so fun. The Chapin's located on Lower County Road in Dennis is near other bars (Cleat & Anchor & The Sand Dollar) so you can hop from one to the other. During the summer they put heaters out on the patio and will set up a mini bar for beer outside. They have live bands play all the time. The Chapin's on the Bay Side near Chapin's beach has an awesome outdoor raw bar. If you're going to the Bay Side location, I recommend eating there and staying there to drink afterwards.

#4.) The Squire

This is a really popular spot on the Cape in Chatham. Definitely a family place during the day as they have a really large menu. The food is average but the night life is a good time. My really really good family friend worked there as a bartender and every person she works with is wicked young and cool.

#5.) The Beachcomber

Okay..I legit can't talk about this place enough. The only bad thing I have to say about it is that they took my fake ID away when I was 18. Other than that, this place is the shit. During the day you can hit up the beautiful beach and at night you can stay around and get fucked up while listening to live music. The food is unreal. I recommend their chowder and buffalo tenders. I also recommend their mudslides. So it costs 20 bucks to park but they give you the $20 back in a voucher that you can use for the sick apparel or food. If the parking lot is full, you can park down at Whitecrest beach for $20 and they shuttle you to Beachcomber on the funk bus. This is a ratch zebra bus with hippy ass music. This is where you'll find me every 4th of July drunk off my ass. Definitely a drive because it's located far down in Wellfleet but I promise it's worth it.

#6.) Hog Island Beer Co.

Definitely a cool place. My really good family friend was a bartender here and it's definitely a spot to hit up with friends during the day. The beer is amazing and they have a basketball game, life size jenga and food trucks that come and serve dank stuff. They have an outdoor seating area to enjoy your drinks. Don't order food from the place though (it blows), make sure to order from the food trucks.

#7.) The Beach Bar at Oceans Edge

This is a boujee spot in Brewster. The view is absolutely unreal and I recommend going when the sun is setting. A very very expensive drink menu but it's a good place to meet a girlfriend or go on a drink date. The mojitos and mudslides are orgasmic. You have to valet your car but I sometimes will sneakily park my car in the resident spots to avoid the long walk around the resort.

#8.) Cisco Brewers

You probably know about Cisco if you're from Mass or don't live under a rock. The brewery in Nantucket is an awesome hangout spot. If you live off the island, I'd recommend getting on an early ferry to have a whole day to explore the beaches of Nantucket and have some time to drank at Cisco. They have awesome beer and they have shacks that sell cocktails and chips with guac. You'll definitely need an uber to & from Cisco unless you're renting a car for the day. They have awesome apparel and tire covers. If you're not on the Cape, you can find the pop-up Cisco brewery in the Seaport of Boston.

Now, let's talk about the dopest beaches

#1.) Race Point

This is quite possibly my favorite beach on the cape. It's also one of the furthest beaches on the cape since it's right on the tip in Provincetown. Not everyone has 4-wheel drive but if you have a jeep of some sort, the best thing to do is take the air out of your tires and drive right on to the beach. The only thing is you have to get certified & get a pass to do this. You need to take an hour class and a quiz. If you're simply visiting the Cape, you can walk onto the beach and have virtually the same experience. The best thing about Race Point is that sometimes you end up on a sandbar with the bay side in the back of you and the ocean side in the front. You can even spot seals or whales on the ocean side. An awesome place to visit after partying it up in the best place on earth (P-town) and have a little bbq or sunset pizza.

#2.) Marconi Beach

Also located in Wellfleet right down the street from The Beachcomber is Marconi. I love this place because there's so much room to spread out. The waves can get pretty big and my favorite fucking thing to do is to ride the waves on a boogie board. Only downside are the freakin 200 stairs it takes to get down to the beach. Beware: the water is extremely cold...but you become used to it in no time. Dogs are also allowed which is obviously a plus. We buy the seasonal pass because we go every week but if you're going for the day it's $20.

#3.) Surfside Beach - Nantucket

Another one of my favorite spots. This place is dreamy as fuck. The water is warmer to the point where you could stay in all day, the waves are massive and it's the place to hang out. You can catch a bus right from town and head over for just a few bucks. There are changing rooms and a snack bar. If you're visiting Nantucket, this is the place to go.

#4.) Coldstorage Beach

If you follow me on Instagram, you've probably seen a shot of me looking out into the water and a straight picture of my ass. This is the place I go to when I don't feel like driving to Beachcomber or Marconi. There's a long jetty that you can walk on and if the lifeguard isn't watching you can jump off into the water all ya want. It's on the bay side so it's definitely different in terms of wave size, but it's a good spot to chill & tan.

Now my favorite.... food spots bitchez

#1.) Grumpy's

Arguably one of the most popular breakfast spots on the Cape. Located right in East Dennis on your way to Mayflower Beach, this place has unreal food at a cheap cost. When you pass, you'll usually see a line out the door. DON'T WORRY! You'll be seated in legit 15 minutes at most. I recommend the french toast with the strawberries & whipped cream.

#2.) Crisp

This place is legitimately my favorite restaurant on the Cape. Katie Tynan, I know you're obsessed with this place too girlfriend! The atmosphere is awesome and the food is even better. If it's warm outside, I recommend the patio because they have a cool bar, heat lamps and a fire pit. THE BEST shit you'll ever have is their Wikky-Wikky Chicken riggie pasta dish. It is heavenly and I usually will start with the rocket salad and a Wachusett blueberry beer. This place is constantly packed and they don't take reservations over the phone. When you show up they'll take your name and text you when the table is ready. If you're located down towards Brewster, there is definitely a ride to get here....but like I said, it's worth it!

#3.) Patio

Located in Provincetown, this place is obviously one of my favorite places on the Cape. The waiters are so freaking cool and always dress in short booty shorts. During the summer they'll have large round booths outside with the big blue umbrellas overhead. I recommend the burrata & tomatoes and the chowdahhh. Right next door is an amazing chocolate shop called the Purple Feather cafe where you can get chocolates, pastries and gelato.

#4.) Gerardi's

One of my family's go-to restaurant. Located in Yarmouth right next to Skull Island golf, this Italian place is authentic as fuck. It's homey inside with large tables and a fire place. I would recommend calling ahead for a reservation as this place is consistently packed. Make sure to get the burrata appetizer!

Hope you guys enjoy! If you come to visit me, I'll take you around and show ya a good time!